Pain; You Have a Choice

 

Simarities Are Familiar, but Differences Hold the Gold

 Dear future spouse,

Maybe I know you but maybe I don’t, here’s what I’ve learned when it comes to agreeing and clashing heads; the first seems sweet but is only so if you’re dead. When we’re the same that’s when I get skeptical. De ju vu its like a tactic to get to my heart. Only agreeing on how I see that world and never offering a counter part. Oh wow how many times do I have to fall for that sound of “you’re right, as always… I agree with you I see its your way.” Then when the difference show up in the next, I’m left wondering in my head where did the comfortable similiarties go? Then I remember that too much of the same, even if its good, doesn’t make any recipe thrive. So for your differences I’m grateful, even when I don’t understand, they make me think and change to see myself as a better women, and understand the uniqueness of you as a better man. For the common ground and values are what matters most, and I’ve learned to be thankful for the different lens in which we use to view the world. That way we can add color to each others’ canvas, and create a masterpiece that wasn’t possible before. And differences they say are like a puzzle, they are compatible one way but turn it a few degrees and nothing will work. Why do diffenckence seem so strange, when they are the things that make us as God has created us to be; you as male and me as female…. If we were the same, no compliement could be made. I can’t make you think like me and you sure as heck can’t make me think like you. Comprimiae is the main ingredient in honoring each other if were going to thrive through to the long term. So on those days where I wish for more that is similar, I will remind myself that the only option that I have is to change me.... and if I have voiced my problem already that is the place I need to start. You see, I am the common denominator in the issues across my story and you are the same across the issues in yours. Our issues together might not add to a solution, but will add to a commonality of coming from a similar place. So skeptical I will only be, when the all too familiar sound of unverberated thoughts come back at me, from a voice that is not my own but that is supposed to belong to one that has a backbone that holds in truth as it stands in perspective and not in the art of people-pleasing.  

Funny Feeling - You’re Not Alone

 It’s a funny feeling… missing people you’ll never see again. Remembering them as the way you saw them in that season; not with unbiased eyes. You’ll never see them again, not like they used to be, and like they used to mean to you. You’ll never recognize them as more than a stranger. The name might sound familiar and their stories close, but truth has revealed through their actions that what you thought of them, might have never been so. Our outer appearance usually changes little, yet the heart and character of a person can change loyalties and betray; from radio silence to worse degrees beyond that. Missing people is a fact of life, and the heartache doesn’t have to last in such a controlling manner. There is hope for transformation, and there is grace to remember and cherish the good memories as they were; frozen in that time. 

So the funny feeling of missing people who are no longer an active participant in your life, no matter the reason, shouldn’t deter us from engaging with those that are currently crossing our paths. Current relationships won’t replace what was, but they can come along and change you through new perspective. A perspective that lessens the pain, one that gives fresh energy and a vision for a new season of growth and life. That funny feeling is normal friend, and I dare you to take a chance by taking a step forward into the new. Nothing is as scary as being held in place by the promises and memories of what was, and will never be again! I’m rooting for you as you venture into the exciting world of new possibilities!